The reasons I'm a hot mess...at least this month.

February...wears me out. We have a love/hate relationship. It blows in, parties me up, twists my nerves in a knot, and then leaves me completely empty and most of the time sick.

Bubba's birthday was a couple of days ago. He's 12.

My oldest is twelve! We let him get a F#ceb**k for his birthday. (See what I did there? I disguised how I typed F#ceb**k to keep them from finding out that we let Bubba get a page before he was "officially" old enough. I know, I'm pretty sneaky.)

I'm friends with my son on F#ceb**k. I'm having a hard time wrapping my brain around that.

Yep, that cute little Spidey is turning 12. I should put that picture on F#ceb**k.

It was the first time in 7 years that I didn't bake treats to take to school to share with his friends. We're down to 6 years until he goes to college. I got a little weepy just now typing that.

Last year he had a friend party in addition to the traditional family party. This year we just did the family thing.

Last year, for the friend party, I made my SIL's Milky Way Cake. It sounds exactly like what it is...a cake made of several Milky Way candy bars.

Bubba's birthday falls right before Valentine's Day. On top of all the birthday celebrating there is Valentine celebrating. Friday the girls had their Valentine parties at school. This was the first year Bubba hasn't had a Valentine party in 7 years.

I missed Bubba's last Vday party last year.

Here's a picture of the girls the morning of their Vday party last year. It was 6 days before Brooke's T1D diagnosis. Can you tell which one is Brooke?

Last year Brooke wanted a special dress to wear to her Vday party. My mom agreed to make it, so they shopped together for fabric and a pattern. Once Mom got the dress ready for a fitting, Brooke tried it on and Mom needed to take it in...a lot. It was waaay too big.

She was so excited to wear her special dress. I stopped by her party first and she was loving every minute of it, eating every treat she could get her hands on. I left her party and went next door to Mary Tutu's.

When I left Mary Tutu's party to go to Bubba's, Brooke stopped me in the hall and told me she had a headache and her stomach hurt. I thought she was mad that I wasn't checking them out of school after the party. I told her she was fine and to get happy. She couldn't even hold it together for a class picture.

I headed to Bubba's party. As I was walking in the door of his classroom, the phone was ringing. It was the nurse. Brooke was throwing up in her office.

She hasn't worn her special dress since.

We thought it was a bug. In fact, Bubba was nauseous a few days later so I kept him home from school thinking it was the same bug. It wasn't.

Five days after the Vday parties, Brooke had another episode at church during Bible Class. She couldn't pull it together enough to perform her puppet show.

The next morning, February 17, was her diagnosis day.

Here she is with Will. He was the nurse that admitted her and stayed with us during those first hours. He was wonderful!

We were lucky. The IV fluids and beginning her insulin treatment did wonders for our little starving, dehydrated, weak, out-of-sorts Brooke. She was poked, and poked, and poked some more. It took 3 days to clean out the keytones. She never complained.

Eventually, she gained 11 lbs. Eventually, the spark came back to her eyes. Eventually, she gained some fat so we would have places to inject her insulin. Eventually, she was able to return to her mostly normal life.

This February is already better than last February. It kinda' snowed this morning. If I don't think about it too much, I can enjoy less baking for school parties as Bubba gets older. I made it through this year's Vday parties. I wasn't sure I would be able to hold it together. I just jumped in and stayed busy enough I didn't have time to reflect on last year's parties.

Life is good February, take it easy on us this year.