Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Here's the best part

I will be the first one to admit that when you are living through a tough time, you want desperately for someone to come along beside you and assure you that you're not alone. Misery loves company, right? Satan is so good at convincing you that you're the only one that has ever felt this way, and if you choose to share your burdens, no one will understand. Your situation is so shocking and hurtful that no one could possibly offer you the comfort you need.

I remember sitting at traffic lights and looking at the people in the cars around me. I wondered if there was anyone else stopped at the light going through the same loss as I was. I would look at families at the mall or the movies and wonder if there was anyone in the room who had experienced the same thing I was. I felt so alone, and I imagined clinging to the first person that walked up to me and offered to share his/her story about the time they'd been through the same crisis. I needed to see someone that had walked through it and survived, and maybe even come out on the other side stronger.

And since I knew no one else that had similiar experiences, the comfort that was offered to me seemed petty. I thought, "Well, that's easy for you to say. Your situation is nothing compared to mine." If there was a way to rank pain, I knew mine was deeper than yours.

Months after the crisis and my restoration to God, I remember comforting a friend that wanted a baby, but just couldn't have one. It finally! dawned on me! (I'm nothing if not slow) She is in so much pain, and is numbing herself in self defense. I know what that's like! I've been there! I may not know the emptiness of yearning for a child, but I definitely know the pain of pouring my heart out in faithful prayer and being told no. I can definitely relate to not understanding why God would allow something so horrible to happen. I've walked through this and survived and even come out on the other side stronger.

I learned that the details don't matter so much. Your hurt, my hurt, her hurt . . . they all hurt. We all have them, and we all need encouragement and comfort to make it through them alive. And if there were some sort of way to measure pain, I'm sure that yours would hurt just as deeply as mine. I've been talking about Larissa so much because she has chosen to share her journey with the world wide web. But there are others whose lives inspire me just as much, I just don't want to talk about them because their's is not my story to tell. I love reading Larissa's story so much because I see someone that is conquering the pain through the power of Jesus! It inspires me to handle my situations in the same manner. And I'm not filing the story away to pull out in case I ever go through a divorce. I am storing it in my heart and using it every day. Because the power is not in what caused the pain, but how you deal with the pain.

1 comment:

Jen, Fred, Jennifer or Mom said...

I can not beleive how true your words are for me. I almost could have written this....

The choices we make in life define WHO we are.....how you deal with the pain, that is where the power lies......oh, I so needed to read your blog today...

Thank you!!!