Friday, October 10, 2008

Opinions, advice, and other comments welcome

So let's just say . . . hypothetically speaking, that you had this friend. And about 2 weeks ago she agreed to be the PTA Secretary for this school year. There had been some turmoil and two whole boards had resigned and they were in the process of recruiting a 3rd board to take over, and she was asked to be one of the lucky ones to help sort out all the mess.

And let's just say that . . . well . . . there were a lot of inconsistencies, and half-truths being uncovered. But the new PTA board could not be deterred as they sought to untangle the mess. They had a set of bylaws that would guide them and answer many of their questions. The board worked hour upon hour to adhere to the procedures and statutes, knowing that the bylaws were their only true north.

And then . . . I'm just going to throw this out there, just for kicks . . . they uncovered another set of bylaws. Official ones. Ones stamped, approved and signed by the state. And they were very different from the ones that had so confidently guided them just a few days before. Very, very different. So different, in fact, that it could change the very course of their year.

What would you tell your friend? What advice would you give your confused, tired-of-endless-meetings, sick-of-parliamentary-procedure, just-wanted-to-make-her-child's-school-a-better-place friend? And, what would you say to console her out-of-sorts, haven't-had-a-home-cooked-meal-in-two-weeks husband?

Hypothetically speaking.


javamamma said...

Yikes. I'd tell her I'm praying for grace, grace upon grace. Sounds like a mess. ((((hugs)))

Mandy /Mommy Cracked said...

What Javamama said. And, that probably whatever the state says trumps what was previously used. Sounds like a real mess there. Keep us posted.

Marie said...

Sounds like time to take a week off and let everyone read the new bylaws and eat dinner.

Then start over. Sorry.

creative gal said...

WOW! I would tell her to take it to the Lord and seek His Wisdom! Hang in there. Hugs from NC

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I'd remind her that in the grand scheme of life and eternity, this is just a tiny dot and matters very little.

(And then I'd ask her to remind me of that same truth in my life.)

And I'd bring her dinner and help her figure out how to balance truth and grace and be a great example to others.

And then we'd have dessert.

Shelly said...

OK. I asked a friend of mine in the know. ;) And he said that if you are paying state dues, you need to adhear to the state by-laws. If you are not paying state dues, you as a board need to decide which by-laws you want to follow, and maybe adjust yours to more closely adhear to the state's, especially in questionable areas.

If it is a financial question of differences, you can ask the principal (who should have had nothing to do with the finances to this point) for a meeting. Let her look at the books and help you figure out where you are right now. She is an "official person" that doesn't have access to the funds who can verify "This is the bottom line at this point." And helps with credibility in the future.

This is second hand so if it doesn't make sense you are welcome to call for first hand info. Or if you need further advice, just call. He's great! :)

The Binkley Family said...


Oh, but then I would be a good, caring friend and tell her to seek the advice of people who are wise on such things, because this school needs someone like her to help make things better. And then I would give her a hug and tell her I wish I could be there to help her.

realitymomma said...

i like what shelly said. i go with what you are paying dues to. it sounds like laws are used to fit the sitations they had and needed. so screw them all - write new ones! ok, that won't fix it. go get a pedicure, tell them your "gut feeling" and breathe - it really is such a small matter in the big event.....the Lord has things happen for a reason and something good will come out of this yucky situation

SJ said...


I'd say, "this sucks." Then I'd go get a tube of chocolate chip cookie dough and two spoons so we could eat out of the tube together, talking about how stupid those people were. Kidding! (kinda)

Then while we went on a 2 mile walk together (to burn of 1/4 of the cookie dough) we'd pray for a solution and a light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm so sorry you're...I mean...she is having to go through all of this. I really hate it when I think something is going to be "kinda" bad and then it turns out a nightmare.

But I guess I'd say that if you feel this is what God wants you to be doing right now then trust that he has a plan (and ask what that is exactly) and a purpose. One thing I *really* need to learn is that when we serve God his way, it wont always be a neat little package and go the way I hope it does. It might be extremely difficult and it might get a lot worse before it gets better.

But, we also need to know when we're just "doing" for God when he doesnt really want it. We can do "good" things that can turn out badly if it's not in his plan. I'm not saying you are...I'm saying find out if this is what you need to be doing and if it is, then get his direction and run with it. If you're doing it his way you can trust that it will turn out for good...somehow.