Wednesday, April 28, 2010

In this season

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven..."

Ecclesiastes 3:1
I am so ready for this season to be over. And I'm not even talking about baseball season.
I've lost count of how many funerals I've been to since the middle of February. Mommas, babies, daddies...
A pretty significant anniversary is coming up on Sunday. It reminds me of another season of grief our church family endured 11 years ago.
I'm happy for those that are in heaven. But, down here on earth, I hurt for my friends who are left behind to mourn. It's hard to rejoice in the heavenly realms when the earthly stuff seems so real right now.
Kids need their parents . . . spouses need their other half . . . parents need their babies . . . students need their teachers . . .
Today Bubba is taking the Reading TAKS (Texas standardized test) test. He's not worried about it. He'll probably ace it. He's so blessed with a quick mind and calm nerves when it comes to testing. But the test did prick his heart this morning.
Two weeks ago his reading teacher died suddenly. One week she was teaching school, and the next week she was gone. As you can imagine, it was a shock to everyone. She was young and vibrant . . . Bubba loved her. They got each other.
When we told him that she'd died and the initial shock wore off, he said "That stinks. She won't be able to see all her hard work pay off when we ace the TAKS test."
We've muddled through the last couple of weeks, following his 4th grade boy lead. She was on his mind this morning.
I'm positive she's in heaven right now, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't care all that much about TAKS anymore. But knowing that isn't much comfort when you're down here on earth, still having to care about the TAKS. Still having to carry on.
Seasons of mourning are hard.
But I'm a better mom and wife because of the mourning. I'm inspired by the loss my friends feel to love my family better. Unconditionally . . . self-lessly . . . patiently . . . completely. I'm choosing not to complain. I'm choosing to be available. I'm choosing joy and contentment . . . thankfulness.
"Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul."
Psalms 143:8


jenifer said...

i completely agree-- this has been a sad spring/winter for us too.
i feel reminded to cherish each moment, kiss my kids one more time, and not worry about the tasks as much as the relationships...
oh how my heart aches for those who are mourning more than i am.
and, i'm not sure that the district realizes that TAKS scores are not eternal. ;)

Larissa said...

I'm so sorry, that is really tough. Grief is so hard, and so very unexplainable how it can affect you, and then affect you again later, and then again later. I hope things pass soon for ya'll.

Shelly@Sweet Journey said...

Larissa is so right about how it can affect you again later, and then again later. I wish I had words that would make it easier, but I don't. Thankfully this is just a season. His joy is coming again. And nothing is in vain.

We see our grandparents getting older and anticipate seasons like these. Not looking forward to it, and trying to enjoy now.

Praying for you, Sister!