Sunday, April 17, 2011

I think it means I'm a wimp, but I'm ready to embrace my wimpy-ness

For 28 school days I've had a real job. I've planned for, graded after, loved on, and disciplined some pretty great 4th graders. I've remembered why I chose teaching. I've loved it. Most of it.

But I'm tired. And we have this new condition living with us that I really haven't had time to get to know. And my house is a wreck. And Honey is sick of doing the dishes. And he's had to take the kids to approximately 64 doctor/dentist appointments in the last 28 school days. Which means I've had to hear about approximately 64 doctor/dentist visits second hand. And my arteries are missing the treadmill.

What I'm saying is...I'm not cut out to be a working mom. I think that makes me a wimp.

Some people work and mom and seem to do it flawlessly. But, I don't think I've got what it takes. Yes, I'm a wimp. Spoiled even.

I can't wait for the last 10 days of this assignment to be over. I miss grocery shopping at 8:00 in the morning when there are no crowds. I miss having lunch with friends. I miss meal planning.

I can't believe I'm going to say this...I miss cleaning my house...or having cleaned my house. Yes, I think that's what I miss.

But, these last 28 school days have taught me something. Being a stay-at-home-mom really is a full time job. I really am doing something important, even when all the kids are at school. Even on the days I don't feel like anything got accomplished.

You actually have to spend time in your home to be a homemaker.

My family needs someone to hold down the fort, keep up with the calendar, order the socks for the softball team, host friend time (5th grade boys don't do playdates anymore), and figure out a way to order single serving sized peanut butter from the restaurant supply store. And I love being that person for my family. Even more than I love teaching.

So basically, I can't wait for May to get here.

8 comments:

Jodi said...

Truly your post makes me feel a little better....since I work 2 jobs - although one is supposedly part time - I still spend as much time planning for one class of pre-k kids as I would if I had a morning & an afternoon class & I also work doing all the insurance billing at Scott's office, etc. It's no wonder my house NEVER looks decent, because I never have much time to work on it & when I do have time on the weekend - I'm too tired to care!

jenifer said...

actually, your post made me feel better too! i've never "worked" since i've had kids, but some days i feel like i do NOTHING here at home (especially now that i have a new baby). it was nice to read your thoughts and remember that even when i get nothing done, i'm still home- making it.

The Binkley Family said...

We have had the same experience since I went back to school. Funny thing is, I used to be a working mom. However, that was when Zach was a baby and not in baseball, etc. It IS hard to work and balance everything, and I too look forward to May!!!!

Shelly@Sweet Journey said...

I'm a spoiled wimp right there with you, Friend! You are right and thanks for the reminder--our job is important. It is good to be home, and it is good to experience reminders that we are where we are supposed to be.

valerie in TX said...

I have always worked, and I have ALWAYS thought "Why in the world can other women do this and I can't? Millions of moms work and THEY can get everything else done...what's wrong with me?!" I am constantly - constantly - running like a chicken with my head cut off. I'm constantly exhausted. My house is CONSTANTLY a mess, there are always dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry is always piled up, and if for some reason I don't make it to the grocery store on that one specific day I have it planned - we end up eating out all week long. Let me just tell ya - if that makes you a wimp, I'm the biggest! :) I can't for the life of me figure out how to get it all done. I'm not cut out to be a working mom either, and yet - *sigh* - I am.

Misty said...

here's the thing about working moms though... they either A) don't know anything else or B) just can't stay home... they need to be out.

Kudos to you for trying... I miss all of that stuff too... because, as weird as it sounds, being a homeschooling mom is sort of like that. no time. but no paycheck.

Laci said...

THis was my favorite "ha ha" quote:
I can't believe I'm going to say this...I miss cleaning my house...or having cleaned my house. Yes, I think that's what I miss.

But, for real, I love this:
"I really am doing something important, even when all the kids are at school. Even on the days I don't feel like anything got accomplished.
You actually have to spend time in your home to be a homemaker. "

Thanks for sharing, I always come away with a new perspective!
Love ya.
-Laci

kimberly t. bowling said...

Lovely post. Can totally relate.