Boys will always be boys

Very often you find Honey and I having "intense conversations" concerning my biggest pet peeve when it comes to the male species. I haven't named it yet, but I'm sure someone has and it's just out there waiting for me to Google it. Here's an example of what I'm talking about:


Honey says to me, "Where did you put that envelope corporate office sent me?"

I think in my head, "You mean the big, yellow, not-easily-missed envelope that you receive at least once a week?"

I say out loud in my most paitent voice ever, "Ummm...I think it's on the table..."

I mutter under my breath, "just like every. single. piece. of mail we've ever received in the year we've lived in this house."

After about 2 seconds of scanning the table from his vantage point 8 ft away, he says, "I don't see it."

I leave whatever very important stuff I'm doing and walk to the table and pick up the first big yellow envelope I see on the top of the stack and say, "Is this the one?"

I'm immediately rewarded with, "Oh! I didn't see it laying there! Thanks, honey! What would I do without you?!"

As if my frustration with the fact that he "can't" see the huge, yellow, legal sized envelope that his company sends 80% of their correspondence in can be distracted by a quick compliment or two.

And so it goes with the last of the ice cream in the freezer, the fingernail clippers on my nightstand, and various and assundry other items throughout our 10 year marriage. In fact, if given the scenario above, I've taken to adding to my ever so patient replies, "Ummm...I think it's on the table...you might have to pick up a few things and look under them."

And really, that seems to do the trick. Because Honey has gotten better over the years about finding stuff on his own. The problem is that we have a son. And he's not quite so experienced in the looking for stuff category. In fact, when he has a problem locating something, I usually send one of his 4 year old sisters in to help him search. She almost always finds it within the first 20 seconds. And she doesn't get nearly as frustrated with this male tendency as I do.

So the other day, waaay back during Bubba's last week of school, I was ready to begin one of my new habits for Summer 2008. I got up early, while the kids and Uncle Bubba were still sleeping, and walked. I was comfortable doing this because Uncle Bubba, contrary to popular belief, is an adult so it wasn't like I was leaving the kids home alone. I knew I wouldn't be back before Bubba woke up, so I left a note for him explaining what was going on and what to do to begin getting ready for school. I left it in a place I was sure he would find it: on the arm of the couch, under the TV remote control and a yellow walkie talkie.

I knew the walkie talkie would signal him that I was walking, because we use these often as I never leave our cul-de-sac and I can always see the house, but they can always talk to me if they need to.

Anyways, I was just about done walking, and I knew Bubba had been up for 10 min or so, when I saw him come out of the house. He saw me right away and jogged to meet me. He asked, "Are you having a good walk?"

"Yes," I replied.

"Can I have cereal for breakfast?"

"Yes, didn't you get my note?"

"No, what note?"

"The one that was right underneath the walkie talkie you're holding."

"No, I just turned on Sports Center and realized that I was hungry, so I came out to find you to see what I can eat for breakfast."

"Read the note. It's on the couch, under the TV remote and the walkie talkie. It explains it all in there."

When I got back inside, he was sitting at the bar eating his cereal watching Sports Center just like I told him he could in the note. He just laughed and said, "I didn't see the note."

I just want to take a minute here to tell my future daughter-in-law that I tried. I'm doing my best, but I've got the male genes working against me. So. . .good luck with that.