It doesn't go away

Diabetes isn't like strep.

It doesn't go away after 10 days of antibiotics.

It's not even like Weight Watchers.

You can't quit caring about what you eat for the weekend and start back on Monday.

I've spent the last month thinking, we'll get through this and things will get back to normal.

Denial? Probably.

All I know is, my brain is tired of thinking about it. I feel like if I have to look at one more nutrition label I'll scream. I never have been good at math, and now I have to add, subtract, multiply, and divide ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY.

I told my 4th graders, after a particularly stressful lunch, to pay attention in math class because some day your kid might end up with Diabetes. I almost made our lunch crisis into a word problem. I still might.

Brooke ate 22g of carbs at lunch. She was given 3 units of insulin. If her dosage requires 1/2 unit insulin for every 20g of carbs, how much more insulin did she receive than she should have? How many grams of carbs do you have to give her to balance out her lunch shot so she will avoid going extremely low 1 hour after lunch? **Cross curriculum - Health connection: Which foods and how much of each food would you feed her to compensate for the insulin overdosage? Remember, you need a combination of fast acting and slower digesting carbohydrates.**

I'm even tired of carrying the Vera. I want to go back to the no diaper bag days.

And right now, I can't stomach the American Diabetes Association website. All it does is use words like "chronic illness" and "disease" and "medical supplies" and "diabetes team". And to be honest, I don't want any part of any of that.

And if I think about the fact that it's not even me that's actually living with this, it's my precious Brooke...well, that just puts me over the edge. Because I know how I'm feeling about it, and I can't even begin to imagine how she's feeling about it...aside from all the Girl Scout cookies she gets to eat when we overdose her.