Meet my friend Jerrod

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In case you haven't heard, the Sheltons, as in Jerrod, Jerry, Carla, and Carly, or "jcjc" for short, are driving home today! Leaving Plano and headed to their house. It will be a long drive and I'm not sure how often they will have to stop, but they will probably be on the road until after 8 o'clock tonight. Say a quick prayer for their safety on the road and that none of them will get too tired.

Jerry sent another e-mail this weekend that really touched me. Here is an excerpt:

The journey began on September 29 when Jerrod told us he was having some double vision. Suspecting the return of a lazy eye that he had when he was four years old, we made an appointment with our eye doctor. Following an appointment with Dr. Connie Crossnoe and an appointment with Dr. Cockings, we were scheduled for an MRI on October 3. Unaware of what the problem could be, we went to the MRI appointment expecting to find out that Jerrod needed glasses to correct some kind of a muscle problem. As we sat in the waiting room for the MRI in a rather cavalier way, we read magazines. But then I looked outside and these words came to me so clearly. "Jerry, will you always love me?" I was terrified. I began to tell myself, that's ridiculous, why would I have a thought like that. Again the question came, "Jerry, will you always love me?" Silently I began to talk to God - "Wait, we are only here to find out that Jerrod needs glasses, or that maybe he has sinus problems." "Jerry, I'm just asking you, will you always love me?" I began to silently go through an inner torment. I could not tell Carla or Jerrod, I could only keep telling God, that we didn't come here to find out anything that is bad news. But the question continued... but I was too afraid to answer the question. After the MRI we went home and I sat down at the computer to work. Within an hour we received a phone call from the Dr. telling us "Jerrod has a mass or a tumor in the middle of his brain, and it isn't good." My head dropped into my hands and my heart felt as if it would never beat again. As I started to hyperventilate I heard the question again... "Jerry, will you always love me?" Now I knew it was real. I knew I had to answer the question. As my chest heaved as I cried I told the Lord, "Yes, I will always love you. But please don't make me prove it in this way." I kept putting that qualifier on my answer... and the question continued... "Jerry, will you always love me?" Such a simple question. Why could I not answer it? Finally, without a qualifying statement at the end, in total resignation, in utter despair and no place else to turn, I had to quietly answer. "Yes, father, I will always love you." At that point, the question did not come back. Amazing isn't it? It was at that point I had to let go of everything that has the illusion of security and start walking down a road in which I had no control. The road had no forks and no map was needed. I just had to walk. I feel this road has just led me to a new beginning point for my life. It is as if I have come through a dark and terrifying forest and I now stand at the edge of that forest with relief and gratitude. Before me I look down a path that is lined with some familiar images yet I have no idea where this path really leads. But one thing is clear - where He leads me, I will follow. Together I walked into that forest with Him as He asked me from the first day, "Jerry, will you always love me?" As I heaved with sobs of horrific pain and fear I grabbed His hand, answered "Yes, Father, I will always love you." And into the forest we went. I know the path will lead me into other forests, beautiful meadows, some days will bring sunshine and some days will bring rain, but the path continues. Now as I look at that path I will always remember His question to me the day of the MRI - "Jerry, will you always love me?" My answer is the same - "Yes, father, I will always love you."

Hey, at least it's an update.

So in an effort to reassure the 4 people that used to read this blog, I'm posting an update. Yes it's a list, and yes, I'll use bullets. I'm naming this list "The Things I Would Like to Blog About But I'm Too Busy Living Them" list.

• We had a great visit with Jerrod and I fully intend on blogging about my observations of the weekend sometime in the future.
• Our minivan? The one that just a few short weeks ago I renewed my love for? It has turned on us. For the last 6 mo or so, we've been tossing money in to it. $100 here. $250 there. But about a month ago, it started overheating on me. And the estimate to fix it was $600. That's a little harder to swallow. . .$600. We chose to fore go the repair and use a liquid sealant to bandage the problem while we searched for a new family vehicle. Honey has enough car sense for the both of us (and a little left over for my parents, too), and he's been on the prowl for something different and within our price range. Well, Monday I barely got the van home from making the after school run, and after Honey's careful inspection, he deemed it wounded beyond liquid sealant repair. My reaction? It's dead to me. Just get it out of my sight. And put something in it's place that will run. Fortunately for me, Honey has been talking to a nice man just outside the city limits. He likes our van and will give us money for it even though it is wounded beyond liquid sealant repair. And he has a newer, blue, clean, way less miles, Chrysler Town and Country that he thinks we would love. So, yesterday, Honey took the day off, dropped me and the kids off at school, secured our financing, made the trade, and picked me and the girls up from school in a "new to us" van. So far I like it, but I've only taken it to Walmart and made the morning school run. We are still getting to know each other. But I think we will have a long and lasting friendship.
• Last weekend Honey and I made a fast trip to my Favorite Christian University. It was my 10 year Reunion Homecoming Weekend. Once I got past the fact that it has been 10 years since my college graduation, I had a wonderful time renewing old friendships, sharing precious memories, holding new babies, and meeting new husbands. There were a couple of people that I missed because they were unable to attend, but I also got to see 2 out of 3 of my roommates. Neither of whom I'd seen in several years. In fact, I met one husband for the first time, and met one child that I didn't even know had arrived. We had a great lunch together and enjoyed watching the FCU Homecoming football game. It was so great to reconnect with my roomies and I know we will all keep in better touch from now on.
• One of my roomies, Cat, and her husband Eric, live in the San Diego area. While they were at FCU for the weekend, their neighborhood was evacuated because of the raging wildfires. Their gracious neighbors rescued their dog and cat, their wedding pictures, and a precious family heirloom. But that is all that Cat and her husband have from their house. They returned to San Diego last night as planned, hope to return to their house sometime this week. Just like many of their friends and thousands of others, they aren't sure what they will find. Please keep these families in your prayers.
• Last night, while on the phone with Cat, she mentioned that among other things, this tragedy has made her passionate about coming up with a better emergency plan for her and her family. If they had been home, they would have had a couple of hours to pull some things together, but where do you start? I mean when you have a couple of cars to haul stuff and only a couple of hours to load. . .what do you take? Does your family have an emergency plan? Cat mentioned that she knew where all of her important documents were, but they weren't all in one place that she could tell her neighbor to just grab the file and go. What would you tell your neighbor to grab for you? I know it's all just stuff, but it's worth some thinking on and maybe a little bit of planning, and backing up, and re-organization.
• And, it's 7 days until Halloween. 3 out of 5 of us couldn't be more excited.

Is it tomorrow yet?

I know. Empty promises. I seem to be full of them lately. Tomorrow, I will exercise. Tomorrow, I will cook dinner. Tomorrow, I will update more.

Well instead of reading all of my empty promises, how about joining me right now in thanking our Father for taking care of Jerrod Shelton. You can read this for all the details, but here's the jist of it. . .NO CHEMO OR RADIATION WILL BE NEEDED!

Jerrod has had a very busy week. After we saw him, he got rid of the shunt needed to help with fluid build-up, moved out of CCU to a regular room, began physical and speech therapy, and is currently anticipating a move to the rehab center.

I told his parents today that I thought he looked great when we were there, but when I saw the pics on the website from the last few days, my heart said, "There's the Jerrod we know and love!"

The Fingerprints of God

**Originally published 10/16/07**
**Edited 9/13/10 to add -- Jerrod is home and back to leading a normal college life (as normal as college gets). Jerry, Jerrod's dad is in the middle of retelling their story and I am loving his insights. If you're interested, read How to Be a Neat Guy to hear the whole story from Jerry's point of view. Start with 8/25/10, he's been posting every week day.**

Last night, around 9:00, I returned from the road trip to see Jerrod. If you haven't seen his website, please take a couple of minutes to read his story. This site was actually created by a friend of the family at Jerry's request. It is the best way to get accurate, up-to-date information on how Jerrod is doing.

For the last 2 weeks I have been preoccupied with Jerrod and the health crisis he is facing. Every waking moment, it seems, is spent thinking of, praying for, or talking about Jerrod and what is happening at a hospital in Plano many miles from where I am. For two weeks I have ached to be there with Jerrod, Carla, Jerry, and Carly. To see with my own eyes, hug with my own arms, and pray with my own voice. To experience more than just the virtual waiting room that is the website.

On Wednesday morning, the day before the surgery, while in the shower, I was talking to God about my ache. I was inviting God to search my heart. . .to make sure that my reasons for wanting to visit the Sheltons was not selfish. I didn't want to go if my motivation was to ease my mind or find peace for myself. I only wanted to go if it would encourage and uplift Jerrod and his mom and dad.

As I finished my shower, I realized that it was very possible for me to squeeze in a 6 hour road trip Sunday and Monday if I could figure out what to do with my kids. Because, let's face it, a mom who's dealt with 3 kids for 6 hours in the car headed for unpredictable circumstances at a hospital waiting room isn't much encouragement to the people around her. By the end of my shower I was weighing my childcare options, knowing it was all that stood between me and a visit with our dear friends.

BEFROE I WAS EVEN FINISHED DRYING OFF, the telephone rang. It was one of our former youth interns saying that since she (A) and her husband (M) have just moved back to town and are still in the process of working out the details of their jobs, they are totally free to babysit the kids so Honey and I can go see the Sheltons. In fact she'd just finished cleaning her bathroom where she'd been praying about ways to help the Sheltons and felt like this was something she could do. So she took a chance and called. God answered my prayer for the perfect babysitter before I even had the chance to voice the need.

Needing no more signs from God, (as it's pretty miraculous for people to call and VOLUNTEER to keep my children overnight) I promised to call Honey and work out a plan for A and M to watch the kids while we made the trip.

Not by accident, Honey had a trip planned to the Plano area for work. He was scheduled to fly out Sunday and fly home on Thursday. After a few phone calls, the company agreed to cancel Honey's Sunday flight, and, instead pay for his expenses to drive down. I was able to drive down with him, stay in his hotel room Sunday night, and. . . VOILA! The expenses for our trip dwindled to my food and gas for the trip home.

I drove back Monday evening, and Honey will fly home as planned on Thursday.

The kids had a blast with A and M, and Honey and I got to hug our friends and witness first hand the power of prayer and faith as we held hands with Jerrod and watched the Cowboy game on Sunday. God is so good!

More on our trip tomorrow.

Answered Prayers

Jerrod is out of surgery and is resting well. His mom, dad, and sister got to spend time with him after the surgery. If you would like to read updates about how Jerrod is doing go to www.jerrodshelton.com . Thanks for praying.

A Father's Heart

Please remember Jerrod Shelton in your prayers today. He is scheduled to have delicate, complicated, extremely intricate brain surgery today at 12 noon CST. The surgery will last 12 or 13 hours.

This is an excerpt from an e-mail I received from his Dad. He wrote this while sitting by his son's hospital bed. I love this family, and this is why.

"Let me begin by saying I know most of you know what an outstanding young man Jerrod is. But I want to help enlighten you just a bit. When someone is hurting Jerrod has always been very moved by that. When someone is left out, Jerrod wanted to include them. When someone is sad, Jerrod wants to encourage. When I have ever said I was going to do something to help someone it was Jerrod who always encouraged me to do more. Here's a big one... once in a while I would learn that someone had done something to hurt Jerrod's feelings, or was mean to him in some way. Or bullied him. I would ask, Jerrod who did that? His response was always the same... Daddy I don't want to tell you, because I don't want you to think less of them. You may think I am kidding, but it is the absolute truth. He always defended those who hurt him. He never wanted me to be angry at anyone for those things. He always said, "it's okay daddy, I can handle it."

I don't write that because I want anyone to feel badly, I write that because I want you to know what I am learning. I love Jerrod just because he is my son - and that's enough. But I love him with an intensity I can't describe because of who he is. (stay with me on this) I have always wanted to love Jesus more. I have a hard time with the images that have been portrayed in even the best Hollywood attempts. He is either portrayed as a man of no apparent emotion or a guy who just walks around with a silly grin on his face. Here's what I know now. Jesus was perfect so I know he was the one who included the one who was left out. He is the one who said, "Hey, man - come down from that tree. I want to go home with you and spend some time with you today." He was the one who took care of those who are sick. He is the one who defends those who hurt Him. He is the one who tells His Father, "Abba, Daddy, I don't want you to know it was jerry who hurt me, because I don't want you to think any less of him. I can handle it." You know, I have always kind of wondered how the gospel works. Yes, Jesus died for my sin. I know that. Yes, if I believe and love Jesus I have a home in Heaven. I believe that. But I always wondered why it works that way. Why isn't it some spiritual act I can do to get my card punched and get in. Why can't I just get a to do list from God and complete that for my entrance. Or how come it's not based on how many scriptures I can memorize or why isn't it that I have to learn algebra to be accepted. (Thank God that's not the case) So, what is it about this simple thing about loving Jesus? What's really up with that? Have you ever wondered that too? I am not exactly a rocket scientist so I'm won't be surprised if I'm the only one.

But I truly believe that is why we are so tempted to accept a works theology. Okay, I love analogies, so stay with me on this. I am in no way trying to place my self in any way on the same plane with God. But consider this. I have realized that I have an incredible feeling of love for each of you who are praying for Jerrod. If you love Jerrod and are praying for him... I love you. Case closed - that's it, that's all you have to do is love my son and pray for him and I love you. (see where I am on this) I don't care what you have done in the past. I don't care if you have hurt me, I don't care if you have hurt Jerrod in the past. I don't care if you have made many mistakes in your life... if you love my son and are praying for him, I love you. If you love my son, you have a place to stay in my home any time. If you love my son, I will defend you. If you love my son and pray for him you are my family. Do you see the beauty in that? Now I totally understand. Now I know why God wants us to come live with him if we will only believe in and love His son. Wow. And I can now see that Jesus is the kind of man I can easily love. He is the one who would have stood between me and the bullies who beat me up in 9th grade every day. He is the one who would have told people, "don't say that about him, I love him." He is the one who would have gently helped me when I struggled in school. He is the one who would sit with me and cry when I hurt. He is the one! He really is my best friend. I have said that all my life. We have so many "churchy" things to say about Jesus. We say these things until our language becomes a jargon the world laughs and doesn't understand. But now I know. Now I know what people need to know about the God we all love. "

Heavy

My heart is heavy. I just haven't felt like blogging, mainly because my heart is so heavy. So many yucky things happening and I just can't be chatty and fun-loving.

I'd like to ask you to pray for some of my friends:

• A very special teen, Jerrod, who in the last week has gone from experiencing double vision to being diagnosed with having a tumor deep in his brain, to needing complicated brain surgery.
• A father and husband who desperately needs a liver transplant.
• A mother, wife, and grandmother who is living her final days with cancer
• A marriage that is ending
• Another marriage that is ending

To be honest, whatever incident I was going to write about in an attempt to be witty and entertaining just seems petty.

Thanks for your prayers.